This Is How Things Go For Me Nowadays...
Dec. 11th, 2017 12:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
aearwen2Just a note for anybody wondering just what it is that has me so emotionally & psychologically depleted:
Hubby was receiving wound care this morning, and - lo and behold! - he sprouted a "bleeder" on the back of his "bad" leg that, for a while, looked as if it would mean yet another ambulance ride to the ER. Wound care nurse, bent at the waist and hurting from doing that for an extended time without respite, did finally apply enough compression that the bleeding slowed enough that she could re-bandage things - and the ambulance guys who came out were able to leave.
Yet again I am reminded just how fast things can go from our dull uproar to Urgent Panic - and why I dare take no vacations any longer. I'm coming down from the adrenaline rush now - about 30 minutes later - but I feel drained and more than a little "down". Hubby's health is just *SO* fragile and tenuous as we try desperately to keep him from losing the lower half of his right leg to neuropathy and lymphodema and compromised aterial/venal carrying capacity.
Heck, when this happens more often than it has lately, I begin to grow paranoid about even taking a couple of hours to go work with my Russian friend once a week - or my Saturday morning coffee & then shopping trip. It's a feeling of "if I take off, things will go from balanced to complete sh!t in 15 seconds, and I won't be there to try to help." My own health must take a back seat - and I'm extremely grateful that the only thing (!!!!!) that I deal with is the pain from chronic, degenerative arthritis in shoulders and knees, something I can handle (more or less) with large doses of Tylenol (no, Ibuprofen does not work for me, thank you...) and/or hydrocodone on the really bad nights, and keeping to a gluten- and dairy-free diet.
I'm sure things could be worse. DH has spent weeks on end in convalescent care, trying to get well enough to come home to thrice-weekly wound care. He still spends a good 3/4s of every day in his bed with his legs raised to combat the lymphodema - something that would drive me pretty much buggy. He has days when his attitude tanks, and I try to allow for that knowing I very well might not do as well as he does.
Okay. I've got it out of my system.
Have a good day, all...
Hubby was receiving wound care this morning, and - lo and behold! - he sprouted a "bleeder" on the back of his "bad" leg that, for a while, looked as if it would mean yet another ambulance ride to the ER. Wound care nurse, bent at the waist and hurting from doing that for an extended time without respite, did finally apply enough compression that the bleeding slowed enough that she could re-bandage things - and the ambulance guys who came out were able to leave.
Yet again I am reminded just how fast things can go from our dull uproar to Urgent Panic - and why I dare take no vacations any longer. I'm coming down from the adrenaline rush now - about 30 minutes later - but I feel drained and more than a little "down". Hubby's health is just *SO* fragile and tenuous as we try desperately to keep him from losing the lower half of his right leg to neuropathy and lymphodema and compromised aterial/venal carrying capacity.
Heck, when this happens more often than it has lately, I begin to grow paranoid about even taking a couple of hours to go work with my Russian friend once a week - or my Saturday morning coffee & then shopping trip. It's a feeling of "if I take off, things will go from balanced to complete sh!t in 15 seconds, and I won't be there to try to help." My own health must take a back seat - and I'm extremely grateful that the only thing (!!!!!) that I deal with is the pain from chronic, degenerative arthritis in shoulders and knees, something I can handle (more or less) with large doses of Tylenol (no, Ibuprofen does not work for me, thank you...) and/or hydrocodone on the really bad nights, and keeping to a gluten- and dairy-free diet.
I'm sure things could be worse. DH has spent weeks on end in convalescent care, trying to get well enough to come home to thrice-weekly wound care. He still spends a good 3/4s of every day in his bed with his legs raised to combat the lymphodema - something that would drive me pretty much buggy. He has days when his attitude tanks, and I try to allow for that knowing I very well might not do as well as he does.
Okay. I've got it out of my system.
Have a good day, all...
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Date: 2017-12-12 03:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-12-13 01:44 am (UTC)