It's been a not-so-nice year so far...

[aearwen2]

I haven't posted much, mostly because my life has been turned upside-down by my husband's deteriorating health.



He has a number of diabetes-related conditions, one of which is lymphodema. The open sores on his legs now are attracting lovely bacteria and becoming infected all too easily, and of late his infection have been landing him in hospital for stays that average between 5 to 8 days. Up until just this last time, each hospital stay began with a call to the Fire Department and an ambulance ride - mostly because he holds off when he starts to feel bad and then BOOM!!! he's collapsing on the floor (mind he's a BIG man that I simply cannot help back to his feet at all.) He's had sciatica take out one leg, so that he can barely lift the right leg at all anymore - and that landed him 5 1/2 weeks in a convalescent care facility getting the physical therapy that would allow him to walk very slowly with a walker. He can only barely get in or out of the car to go anywhere, and can no longer drive.

We've had to have a handicap ramp installed to the front door, because he simply cannot go up the five steps to get into the house anymore. Tuesday we're supposedly getting a walk-in shower installed because he cannot lift his leg to climb into the bathtub for a shower - altho, truth be told, with my arthritic knees I have trouble with that one myself.

And now, as if all of that wasn't enough, he's been diagnosed with MRSA this latest episode, and there are a number of new life-style modifications that we're going to have to make here at home that include separate eating dishes/utensils, no mixing of towels or bedclothes with the rest of the family's, change of bedclothes daily, etc etc etc ad nauseum. Not to mention that every time he goes into the hospital from here on in, he'll be in an isolation room where visitors have to get all togged out with anti-contamination plastic over-gown and gloves.

FWIW, and for the record, he's made five trips to the hospital so far in the last twelve months. On average, I get him home for about 3 to 6 weeks - just enough time for him to start feeling better and start tinkering in his wood shop again - before he gets yet another infection and goes back into hospital, and the vicious cycle is finally starting to take its toll on me. I'm not quite a basket case yet; but if this keeps up, I'll get there soon - especially if he should fall again. My muse, which had peeked back in on me a while ago, has found a hole to hide in again. I'm easily upset and brought to tears, especially when discussing this. My temper, always having had a hair trigger, is even shorter - and my mood ranges generally somewhere between numb and frantic.

Heck, I'm starting to wonder if I have anywhere near the psychological wherewithal to handle being musical director of my regular summer performance group program. I may have to have a long talk with our director, and warn him that my usefulness may have a shelf-life this year.

Don't get me wrong; I'm not fishing for sympathy. I'm just letting folks know that if I seem to vanish again without a trace or murmur, I have a pretty good reason for it. I brought my hubby home yet again today from hospital, and the Universe knows how long it will be before I have to take him in again.

Damn it.



This getting old crap sucks.

Take care, friendslist friends.

Comments

[engarian.livejournal.com]

*hugs* You DO know you can phone me 24/7 if you need to, right? It's been a horribly difficult year for everyone in your family and I really think you're due for some sunshine, bluebirds of happiness, and easier times!!! (sending White Light to all).

- Erulisse (one L)

[aearwen2.livejournal.com]

I'm sure we'll be talking - last week helped a lot, and we'll be speaking again today. I know you're there, and it means a lot.

[lindahoyland.livejournal.com]

Hugs. Hope things look up for you both soon.

[aearwen2.livejournal.com]

Me too. Thanks for the good wishes.

[samtyr.livejournal.com]

I went through something very similar with my own dad many years ago, so I do understand what your dealing with. *hugs*

[aearwen2.livejournal.com]

Everyone who has parents in decline goes through something similiar. My parents died eight years ago after long declines. Thanks for the thoughts.

[heartofoshun.livejournal.com]

Yikes! That sounds heartbreakingly difficult for both of you. I hope there is some way that he can begin to feel better. Are there no methods the doctors can recommend that can help strengthen his immune system and/or get the diabetes under better control?

I get discouraged myself these days at the lack of art that so many physicians bring to the science of practicing medicine. They seem so narrowly focused and unimaginative and with such lack of interest in long-term problem solving.

[aearwen2.livejournal.com]

My daughter confered with her nutritionist, and we've added a few things that he suggested that will helpfully boost immune system function. For the rest, we'll just have to see.

Thanks for the good thoughts.

[jkahane.livejournal.com]

Oi, Mar, I am so sorry to hear what you and Bill have been going through. I knew some of this from our last phone conversation, but didn't realise how bad it's been for you.

I'm always around to talk if you need to do so, and you know that you can do so whenever you need to.

{{{HUGS}}}

[aearwen2.livejournal.com]

I know and appreciate the offer of the ear and shoulder. Trust that if I need to, I *will* make use of them. Thanks!

[jkahane.livejournal.com]

My pleasure, Mar.

You take care, you hear? :)

[serenityslady.livejournal.com]

Many hugs and prayers coming your way. If you need to talk, please message me. I am a great listener. You don't need any platitudes from me, so I'll just say you'll be in my thoughts.

[aearwen2.livejournal.com]

I appreciate the offer, and I *will* take you up on it if things get rocky. Thanks!

[pandemonium-213.livejournal.com]

{{{{Aearwen}}}} The complications of diabetes are so insidious, but I don't need to tell you that. Thinking of you and your DH.

[aearwen2.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the good thoughts.

[elfscribe5.livejournal.com]

I'm so very sorry to hear about your husband's health issues, and yes it takes a toll on you as his caregiver too -- especially when it seems unrelenting. I remember when my husband got MRSA up his nose when he was going through the chemo. Horrifying. They gave him a megadose of antibiotics which got the MRSA controlled but caused his kidneys to shut down for a period of about a week. They did come back on-line. Hang in there.

[aearwen2.livejournal.com]

My hubby reacted badly to the first antibiotic they gave him to combat the MRSA - and ended up having to have antihistamins to combat the itch, pain, and difficulty breathing. My daughter has him on stuff her nutritionist recommended prior to this, and I'm crossing my fingers they help. Yeah, this is definitely no fun.

[randy-o.livejournal.com]

Aw, jeez,, I am so sorry to hear you're in caregiver hell to. Trust me, I can relate. I've been scarce too from caring for a mother with dementia. I know what the stress of it does to a caregiver's mental and physical health. We have skin issues to deal with too, although not anywhere near as bad as your husband's.

You need to take care of yourself. I'm deadly serious. I'm on anti-depressants, deep breathing exercises, guided meditations, and essential oil sniffing, and I'm still on a hair-trigger. I see my doctor in two days and will beg for an effective tranquilizer like valium or Xanax. I suggest you try all of the above.

And pm me if you need to vent. Venting is one of the necessities of caregiving. You can say anything without fear of me judging. I'm no Superman, and I've had some very dark thoughts myself. You are not alone in this.

[aearwen2.livejournal.com]

O man! I think caring for a parent with dementia has got to be the worst - and I'm SO sorry that's where you're at. FWIW, you can PM me if YOU need to vent. I was the caregiver to both my parents in their decline - dad with COPD and heart issues, and mom with her need for hemodialysis and then cardiac surgery at the end - so I know quite a bit about caregiver hell already. How about this: we can vent at each other, eh?

I'm doing okay so far, mostly. But I'm doing more reading than writing, my housekeeping has slipped seriously, my urge to practice the piano is gone - but I have my daughter who helps me stay on track most of the time. I don't think I'd make it without her at the moment, to be honest.

You take care of you, okay? And yes, I'll promise to PM you if you'll promise to PM me, okay?

{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}

[galantha-nivala.livejournal.com]

Did you want me to look into how to eradicate MRSA safely?

[aearwen2.livejournal.com]

Yes. Please. Gods, yes!!!

Thank you!!!!

[sykira]

Argh I am so so sorry hon :_( We've been through MRSA too with my youngest son, landed him in hospital, still no idea HOW he got it. Scary stuff. [[hugs]]