Not again...

[aearwen2]

At 6AM this morning, my daughter wakes me up and hands me the phone with my sister-in-law, because my brother's depression has tanked him again. Over the course of the next 30 minutes, I convince (coerce, cajole, force - it really didn't matter to me at the time) him to take the antidepressants that he had skipped for the last two days, and told his wife to try to round up a friend for him to spend the day with. When Dave called back about 2½ hrs later, he was at least lucid & coherent, but still very down. Yes, he wanted me to come now.

So, I drive to Arizona tomorrow - with no clear idea how long I'll be there.

Clinical depression is a very difficult situation to try to deal with from a distance of six hundred miles. Dave had called to crow about talking to a congresscritter about the way that Bank of America had jerked him around - and then apparently dropped the ball on getting the documentation the congresscritter wanted to him. Once more, I'm hearing "There's no hope." and "What's the use?" as excuses for just curling up and doing nothing. He claims to have simply forgotten to take his pills. I don't think so.

So, despite the fact that I'm definitely not a Christian of any hue, I visited the Episcopalian priest who was so instrumental in helping me pull him back together when he was here this past July. The lady is an absolute gem - no doubt about it - and she gave me a lot of good information and advice on what to say, what not to say, things to bring up in question form, and ways to nudge Dave into trying to focus on the future. I'm to keep in touch - and I will.

Still. Tomorrow will be a 10-hr drive down the coast to Los Angeles and from there across the continent to Scottsdale. I have enough going on in my own life (including a son in OR who will be homeless in a week's time if he can't find a place to stay) that I really didn't need this - but this is my brother we're talking about here. I only have the one, and he's a fantastic person (when his head is screwed on straight.) I can't not go.

I'll try to keep up to date with my postings, but no promises. A lot will depend on the situation there, and just how much work it takes to (1) keep him under supervision so he doesn't go off and do something stupid; and (2) cajole, coerce and convince him that he's loved and that he needs to be proactive in creating a future he can accept that doesn't include that damned house.

In so many ways, if he can survive losing the house, it will be a relief once it's over.

And that, my friends, is a truly horrible thing to have to say.



Such fun.

Not.

Comments

[nierielraina.livejournal.com]

{{{{HUGS}}}} I wish I were closer. I'd share the driving with you. Keep in touch as you can. You'll be in my thoughts.

[randy-o.livejournal.com]

All I can do is wish you strength and courage. {{{hugs}}}

[engarian.livejournal.com]

Oh hun, I've got prayers out for you and your family. I had similar situations with my brother-in-law and a good long-time friend. Clinical depression is so extremely difficult to deal with both for the person experiencing it and all of the others who have to deal with him/her on a daily basis. If I can help you - be a sounding board of any type, just Email me or send me a personal message. I'll do whatever I can for you.

Drive carefully.

- Erulisse (one L)

[pandemonium-213.livejournal.com]

I'm sending good strong vibes your way with a whole bunch of empathy. To echo She-of-One-El, please do not hesitate to send a PM or email my way if you need a listening ear.

[lissas-elves.livejournal.com]

>>Once more, I'm hearing "There's no hope." and "What's the use?" as excuses for just curling up and doing nothing. He claims to have simply forgotten to take his pills. I don't think so.<<

You're probably right. It can be difficult for others to understand how strong the 'pull' from a depression is. I sincerely hope you'll be able to guide your brother back to a more positive outlook.

Take care on that long drive! *hugs*

[nelyo-russandol.livejournal.com]

Oh, dear. I hope your love and support will pull him back to a healthier frame of mind. Have a good journey, don't rush... Hugs.

[binkaslibrary.livejournal.com]

Wishing you strength and a safe trip. Warm thoughts your way!

[surgicalsteel.livejournal.com]

Be careful on the drive, and I hope things can be resolved in a safe manner for everyone as quickly as possible! Thinking good thoughts at you!

Not again...

[(Anonymous)]

Aearwen,

Oh dear! I do hope that everything works out, and with you there, I am sure that it will.

Drive carefully, and know that I'll be thinking of you and keeping you and your brother in prayers.

Many Hugs and Love to you,
Vanime

[galantha-nivala.livejournal.com]

Please drive carefully and take care of yourself. I'll be thinking of you.

It's tough knowing what to say and not to say to someone with clinical depression. The usual things like cheer up just don't cut it. It sounds like you've got a very valuable resource in the priest. In general, people go into that line of work because they want to help other people. Experience teaches them what to do and say. The rest of us occasionally stumble into it because of circumstances.

I really hope things go well for you and your brother and the rest of his family. He's probably in no shape to recognize it, but he's extremely lucky in having you as a sister.