This is an amazing story. You portray emotions so well that your characters become very real and completely sympathetic.
Gilraen's confusion on waking up in a strange place is palpable. I love the comparisons between the sounds and scents of her former life in a rustic village compared to the elegance of Rivendell.
I could really sympathize with her panic when she noticed Aragorn was not in the room with her. The awkwardness of the conversation between Gilraen and Elladan is just right; it's certainly present, but it's not overly done. It colours the exchange rather than overwhelms it. I wish I could write like this.
There's just one, tiny nit pick.
"I thought to bring him to his crib for a short nape before you awoke.”
Shouldn't nape be nap?
Dirhael spared no diplomacy in letting his daughter know that the one that needed the protection was not her, but her little son; after all, on him hung so many hopes. It hurt to be dismissed as unimportant, but she understood the reasoning nevertheless.
While reading this passage it occured to me that I'd pay good money to read this exchange.
I really like your take on how Estel received his name and how Gilraen learned that Elrond is not as distant and formiable as his reputation makes him seem.
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Date: 2009-07-19 06:49 pm (UTC)Gilraen's confusion on waking up in a strange place is palpable. I love the comparisons between the sounds and scents of her former life in a rustic village compared to the elegance of Rivendell.
I could really sympathize with her panic when she noticed Aragorn was not in the room with her. The awkwardness of the conversation between Gilraen and Elladan is just right; it's certainly present, but it's not overly done. It colours the exchange rather than overwhelms it. I wish I could write like this.
There's just one, tiny nit pick.
"I thought to bring him to his crib for a short nape before you awoke.”
Shouldn't nape be nap?
Dirhael spared no diplomacy in letting his daughter know that the one that needed the protection was not her, but her little son; after all, on him hung so many hopes. It hurt to be dismissed as unimportant, but she understood the reasoning nevertheless.
While reading this passage it occured to me that I'd pay good money to read this exchange.
I really like your take on how Estel received his name and how Gilraen learned that Elrond is not as distant and formiable as his reputation makes him seem.