I haven't started reading that one on LC. To be honest I haven't had much time to read or crit anything the last two weeks but I would love to give you feedback if you can give me a few days to read the whole story.

I know how you feel about not getting crit especially when you're excited about finishing something. And you hate to *ask* for help, even if you need it. But don't be so hard are yourself. Its about lack of time or attention of the critters than it is anything wrong with your writing.